Crooked
by MushroomT
Summary: Like a fool, I said nothing.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors.**

**Here is the oneshot about Crookedstar for the challenge/thing at The Miscellany. Enjoy, everyone!**

**--**

"I'm back."

The tawny pebbles shift and crush under my paws, sliding into the churning river. It rushes by without a care in the world-proud, free, strong.

Just like RiverClan. Just like you.

_Silverstream._

Stream. It had been your namesake-I remember the day, not too long ago, when you stood beneath me as Silverpaw. You had been so tiny then-your green eyes round like the moon with anticipation, your fur fluffing out against the buffeting wind.

I named you Silverstream that day. 'Stream' was rarely given as part of a name-I can tell you, I got some strange looks that dawn-from Leopardfur especially.

But name you Silverstream I did. I knew it fit you-it was perfect for my daughter.

Some assumed that I named you that for something petty. But how could I? I didn't name you simply because I wanted you to have a pretty name (I did, but it was not my real reason), or so it would describe the way water slid off your pelt more sleekly than any other cat in the Clan-no, I named you for your personality-your similarity to the river.

You were Silverstream-proud, fierce, strong-but also loving and protective.

Like the river, you didn't care what others thought of your actions-you would flow the way you wanted to, and nothing would stop you.

Did you think I wouldn't notice you were seeing Graystripe? Did you think you could hide it from me, your own father?

Perhaps from other cats, yes, but not me.

I remember the day you came trotting into camp-your pelt was drenched, and, despite the thick fur typical of RiverClan warriors, you were shivering.

"Fall in after a fish?" Mistyfoot had chuckled loudly from her spot in the nursery.

I remember the way your face flickered with a different sort of shadow.

"Yes," you replied, and then stalked off to your nest.

I had known from that very day that nothing would ever be the same again.

--

I remember the early days-the ones when you first started seeing Graystripe. I can still recall that guilty look on your neat silver face as you would slink into the camp-you always reeked of foxdung. A cat would have to have bees in their brain to _not_ know you were doing something you knew you shouldn't have been. Every time, I would take a firm step forward, my tail lashing-ready to tell you off.

You may have been my daughter-but to be perfectly honest, you were making my look bad. What kind of leader let their daughter run wild with some ThunderClan tom? Pretty soon the whole Clan would be off having affairs with a bunch of ShadowClanners, or worse, rogues.

But every time you heard me coming, and you would turn around and look at me with such beseeching green eyes-so filled with pain and love-that I would never say anything. My heart broke each time you looked at me, and, not for the first time, I didn't know what to do. If I was to forbid you to see Graystripe, you would hate me, I knew-but if I didn't…something told me that things wouldn't end well.

Like a fool, I said nothing.

--

When you came to me that foggy morning, I hadn't the slightest clue as to what you were going to announce. You pushed through the tunnel of cattails lightly, settling on the soft, mossy floor of my den gracefully, your silver-striped tail wrapped around your dainty paws. Your green eyes sparked like the river water in the darkness as you opened your mouth and spoke softly.

"I'm pregnant."

I looked at you steadily, searching your face. I expected shame-I wasn't stupid; I knew very well who the father was. Did you think I hadn't caught the few gray hairs caught in your pelt? Did you think I hadn't noticed that one time you didn't have time to roll in foxdung?

However-there was none.

You lifted your chin proudly and curled your tail around your belly protectively-as though I would ever even think of harming the kits growing within you. I, myself, could barely dig up any anger with you-you knew the consequences of your behavior, and you feared them not. What more could I have done to you?

I couldn't _prove_ that you were mating outside the warrior code. Even if I could, what kind of leader would I be-punishing a pregnant queen, and my own daughter, no less?

Seeing the glowing pride in your eyes-I won't lie-I was proud, too.

I could already imagine your beautiful kits-even if they were half-Clan, they'd be fine warriors.

I could see them frolicking through the camp, tumbling over the reeds and lilies-I could see them swimming for the first time, their scrappy gray tails streaming behind them as they paddled strongly with small forepaws.

Yet, strangely-I didn't see you beside these beautiful young cats. There always seemed to be an emptiness around them. I could sense a warm wind, one that would always tug invisibly against their fur-but where were you?

Was I seeing the future?

Could this be a vision from StarClan?

Whatever it was, I was scared.

--

The fateful day you gave birth-would it have been different if you'd never gone to see Graystripe? Could Mudfur have saved you, or was your death meant to be? I hated the cruelty, if StarClan had set your death in the stars-I could never tip my head to Silverpelt in quite the same way. When I knew ThunderClan held your kits, I _had_ to send out warriors to demand their return. I knew you would've hated that-but I was selfish-I thought that maybe if your kits returned to RiverClan, I could still hold on to you. I didn't want to threaten ThunderClan, not really-not after Fireheart and Graystripe had helped us while we were starving. When I saw Graystripe coming over the stepping stones, those two small gray and silver scraps dangling from his jaws, I felt my crooked heart begin to piece back together. I knew I couldn't reject him, too-it was almost like you were back-like we were a family again.

It was wonderful-even if the feeling only lasted for a dawn.

Don't misjudge me-I loved Stormkit and Featherkit very much-but it wasn't the same. I loved watching them pounce on the tussocks of grass; I loved watching their eyes growing round as moons when they saw the shiny stones put around their nests.

But I missed _you._I missed your laughter, like the wind chiming on high. I missed your jokes, and the pranks you'd pull on the senior warriors. I missed your nose for trouble and adventure. You were like my old medicine cat, Brambleberry. Determined, loyal, playful, full of pride and love.

The gray and white pebbles crunch once more, and I can hear Featherkit calling for me from the riverbank.

"Come play with me, Crookedstar!" she laughs, diving into the slow-moving shallows.

She's so much like you, Silverstream-you'd be so proud of her.

I know you're wondering why I'm here, Silverstream-you wouldn't want me to waste my time mourning over you. I know if you were asked to give birth all over again, you'd give your life for the lives' of your kits in an instant.

I suppose I just want you to know that you will always be remembered.

You were my moon, my air, my kit and my warrior. You were my pride, my joy, my love, and my tears. You were my river, and I will always remember you.

You were my daughter.

You were my Silverstream.


End file.
